Fallen
by diceandpokerchips
Summary: When Castiel went back to pull Sam out of the Cage, what would have happened if Raphael had interfered? Season 5 alternate ending.


**Sorry for the upload error! It's been fixed now.**

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"What about me, huh? Where's my 'grand prize'?" Dean demanded angrily.

Castiel understood Dean's meaning. He didn't want any reward for stopping the apocalypse. He'd done it out of a matter of duty, of responsibility. He didn't want hell on earth. He didn't want paradise, and Castiel understood that too.

The fact was that Heaven had interfered in the lives of Sam and Dean Winchester long before they were born. A cupid had helped John and Mary fall in love, ensuring that Sam and Dean would be born. They were born for the roles Heaven had given them. All Dean wanted was a normal life, to have a family, to have Sam back by his side. The fact that he managed to save humanity, billions of lives was amazing, and he'd lost the only family he had in the process.

"All I got is my brother in a hole!"

Castiel frowned, looking at Dean in disbelief. "You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise, no hell… just more of the same. I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have, peace or freedom?"  
Before he even spoke the words, Castiel knew they were false and that his immediate urge to defend Heaven stemmed from the fact that his power had been restored. He resisted the urge to shudder. His brief stint as human was unpleasant to say the least, and he was eternally grateful to have his Grace returned to him. It was this reason alone that he allowed himself to say the words he didn't mean.

He didn't wait for Dean to reply, knowing the words would be scornful, scathing. Dean was his friend, and Castiel had the ability to make him happy. He disappeared from the Impala, making an instant decision. He would retrieve Sam Winchester from the Cage, and give Dean the family that he deserved. It was a small consolation after everything the Winchesters had went through, but it meant they had neither gained nor lost anything.

He appeared instantly in Stull Cemetery, clutching the rings that would reopen the Cage. The effort of raising Sam from perdition would severely weaken him, but it was necessary.

"Well, you really such at goodbyes, you know that?" The voice echoed in his head, like a prayer. Castiel realised that Dean had assumed he wasn't coming back; that he'd just disappeared from the Impala without a second thought. His voice was filled with such pain, disappointment, a resignation that he would never see Castiel again, that it took the angel all his strength not to just reappear next to Dean and ensure the hunter knew he fully intended to return. He resisted, knowing he would need every last measure of strength to free Sam.

It was raining. The sensation of the water on his face was pleasant, allowing him to concentrate on something other than Dean's misery. Castiel let the rings slip out of his grasp, falling to the floor with a thud.

"Bvtmon tabges babalon."

It happened exactly as before. The ground shook, started to give away where the rings lay at his feet. The window blew fiercely, but Castiel didn't stick around. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall, unfolding his wings to increase his speed as he hurtled down. He only had seconds before the ground closed over him, concealing him.

Lucifer was here, he could tell. The temperature dropped the further down he flew, and it darkened. Castiel could barely see an inch in front of him, even with his angel vision. He flew lower, finally spotting what he was looking for. Two spots of light, entangled in a struggle. Castiel pushed harder, appearing right behind one of them. It was Michael, still in Adam's body. Castiel hissed as he realised he was unable to bring Sam out of the cage without freeing Lucifer. He'd need time to force him out of Sam's body; time that he didn't have and his power, while refreshed, was far from unlimited.

Michael and Lucifer broke their struggle, turning their anger towards Castiel. Michael punched forward with his arm and threw Castiel along the floor. Lucifer watched in an almost bored amusement as Michael set out to punish Castiel for his actions. Blood trickling into his eyes, Castiel got to his feet to face Michael head on, when a flash of gold stopped them both, followed by Lucifer's scream of anguish.

Wiping his eyes, Castiel's vision cleared just in time to see Michael leave Adam's body forcibly, leaving Adam to slump to the floor, unconscious. It was astonishing that his body was still functioning; being possessed by an archangel tended to be damaging at best.

Castiel glanced towards Sam, anxiously. It was a shame about Adam, but he couldn't carry them both, and Sam was his priority. His eyes widened as he saw the flash of gold materialise in front of him to reveal Gabriel, smirking wickedly.

"Hey bro." He picked up Adam's unconscious body and gestured for Castiel to retrieve Sam.

"The Winchester's informed me of your demise." Castiel spoke questioningly, picking up Sam easily, as if his gigantic frame weighed no more than a feather. "I assume their tale was inaccurate?"

Gabriel shot a glance at where the shining lights of Michael and Lucifer were beginning to strengthen. They had been weakened by being forced from their vessels, but it wouldn't take them long to recover.

"Perhaps we should postpone this conversation." Castiel added hurriedly, spreading his wings and heading for the surface, fighting against the gust of wind that was pushing them back down.

"It's not my fault the Sasquatch and Deano were stupid enough to think I'd really attempt to kill Lucifer with my archangel blade. For a start, he's not even an angel anymore." Gabriel shouted over, as they made their way to the surface.

"How did you know where I was?" Castiel called back, the rumbling of the cave making it almost impossible to be heard.

Gabriel grinned. "Please. I'm invested, I faked my death over this. Did you really think I wouldn't stick around to watch what was happening? I knew either you or the less handsome Winchester would show up here at some point, so Balthazar and I were keeping an eye on it."

Castiel blinked. "Balthazar is dead. I mourned him…" He trailed off, sighing. "After seeing you alive, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that another of my brothers has faked his death. I suppose it is he who is keeping the cage open?"

"Just until our timely exit, bro." Gabriel flinched as they heard Michael screech not too far behind them and leaned forward, speeding up.

They broke free of the cage, soaring into the air as Balthazar closed the cage, successfully trapping Michael and Lucifer. Castiel returned to the ground, lowering Sam to the floor as he turned to face the brother he had grieved for so long ago.

"You could not trust me to keep your existence a secret?" Castiel asked at last.

Balthazar shook his head, smiling sadly. "Before your little crush on this one's brother, you wouldn't have had a second thought about making my existence common knowledge, Castiel. The Winchesters are trouble, but they seem to have done a good job with you." He sighed. "If it's any consolation, I missed you, brother."

"I do not have a crush on Dean Winchester." Castiel snapped in response, those words seemingly the only ones he picked up on, but his face softened. "I missed you also, Balthazar. Eternity without your friendship was a daunting prospect."

Gabriel's head snapped up towards the sky, looking away from where he'd been watching his brothers' touching reunion. His face blanched, his eyes widening with trepidation.

"Raphael." He murmured, quietly. "Balthazar, I suggest you take flight. I'll take Adam back to heaven; his body is too damaged to contain his soul for long. Castiel, you take Sam."

Balthazar disappeared instantly. Castiel was not aggrieved, knowing he would be able to see his brother again; now he was aware of his existence, Balthazar had no reason to hide from him. Raphael, however, was another matter. He had a grudge against Castiel, and Balthazar had not exactly 'died' in Heaven's good books. It was best for all involved that they clear out before Raphael could arrive.

Gabriel disappeared after promising to check on Castiel and the Winchester's later. Castiel reached for Sam's unconscious body with the intent of taking him straight to Dean, when he heard a flutter of wings behind him. Recognising that he had been too late, he slowly straightened, turning around to face the fierce archangel.

"Raphael."

"Castiel." The angel sounded satisfied. "I thought you'd be back here to recover the Winchester filth."

Castiel stepped in front of Sam in an attempt to shield him. "You have no quarrel with Sam Winchester, or his brother." He said firmly. "If it is retribution for my actions you seek, take them, but leave Sam Winchester alone."

Raphael curled his lip, sneering at him. "I have no reason to interfere with your precious Winchesters, Castiel. You, on the other hand, I intend to see you punished for your transgressions towards my former vessel."

Without warning, he swooped towards Castiel, grabbing him and disappearing from the cemetery, where Sam was just coming to. Castiel struggled in his arms, forcing Raphael to drop him. He had no idea where he was, but the archangel didn't give him too much time to consider that. Instantly, Castiel was surrounded by no less than thirty angels, all a higher rank. He glanced around, wondering if he would be able to draw a banishing sigil in his chest before they attacked.

When Raphael appeared in front of him, he knew he had no chance. He let all ideas of fighting slump out of him as he straightened up, stiffly, staring the archangel in the eye. Castiel let his thoughts fly through his entire existence, empty and meaningless until he met the Winchesters. He didn't regret one single moment.

"I am not afraid to die." He told Raphael calmly. "I welcome it, knowing everything I have helped the Winchesters accomplish."

The archangel eyed him thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose you do." He smirked. "Unfortunately for you, Castiel, death was not what I had in mind. You'd probably just be brought back anyway." He shrugged. "Hold him". He snapped at the angels, four of which came forward to grip Castiel's arms tightly.

Raphael drew a small vial from a chain around his neck and Castiel froze as his eyes fell on it. His mouth fell open in horror and his face drained of all blood. This was the cruellest option that Raphael could have considered.

"No." He began to struggle¸ fighting, kicking, biting, anything to get out of the angels grips. "No!"

Raphael appeared behind him, one hand on his shoulder stilling Castiel's struggles. "It will not be painless. It will not be quick. You should be thanking me, Castiel. You'll get to grow old and die with your beloved Winchesters."

His hand slid down Castiel's wings and he tore out a handful of the feathers. Castiel cried out in agony as his Grace began leaking from the wound. His mind blanked and he couldn't concentrate on anything except the agony.

Please make it stop Dean help me Sam Gabriel Balthazar help me the pain mortal would rather die human Raphael taking my Grace please just let me die kill me KILL ME.

To his credit, he remained awake as Raphael plucked out every single one of his feathers, tears streaming down his face as his very core was taken from him. He became acutely aware that he was sobbing Dean's name over and over, even though he knew that the Winchester didn't even know that this was happening to him. Nobody did. Help wasn't coming, yet Castiel found his faith rediscovered as he pleaded for his Father to help him.

"Kill me." He wept, desperately, wishing for death. "Just kill me."

"Why would I kill you when this clearly hurts you more than death ever could?" Raphael's voice was filled with amusement, before plunging his hand into Castiel's body, ripping out his wings from their core. Castiel screamed, before blacking out from the agony, slumping to the floor.

He awoke in time to hear Gabriel fighting his way through the angels, killing anyone that stood in his way. Raphael appeared to be done with him, meeting Gabriel's furious expression easily.

"Return his Grace, brother. Nowhere in our laws is this treatment justified."

Castiel turned his tear-soaked face up towards the voice, but he could barely see through his eyes, blurred from the never ending flow of tears. He wanted to curl in a ball and die. Human. He was human. He was going to grow old and die, feel his body start to fail him. After thousands of years of immortality, he was nothing. The pain mattered little to him. The bleeding scars from where his wings had once been were nothing compared to the pain that would come, when Dean would no longer have a use for him.

"I think not, brother. You abandoned Heaven, what right have you to enforce its laws?" Raphael sneered, turning to one of the remaining angels. "Drop Castiel in the desert somewhere, far away from the Winchester brothers."

Gabriel snarled, grabbing Castiel and disappearing. Castiel sobbed as he felt the warmth of Gabriel's embrace, disoriented by the movement.

"I'm sorry, Castiel." Gabriel's grief at his plight was genuine. "I wouldn't wish humanity on any angel. To be what we are, to know what we do, the powers we have… to suddenly have it all snatched away… I can't imagine what it must be like for you, brother."

Castiel wept bitterly into Gabriel's shirt. "Sam." He mumbled, that one thought breaking through the haze. "He's still in Lawrence."

Gabriel shook his head. "You've just had your Grace torn from you and you're concerned about Sam?" He sighed. "Castiel, you've been gone for about eight hours. Sam will be on his way to Dean. I'll take you to them."

Castiel clung to Gabriel desperately as they flew towards the Winchester's. He wasn't sure what this would mean for him; he just wanted to die. For an angel, death would be preferable to this. He had fallen.

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